you are here ‘x’

My office is literally in the worst spot ever. They say that real estate is all about ‘location location location’ …if that is the case, I am in the ghetto. I’m not talking about the housing project ghetto, I mean I am in the cul-de-sec that’s next to the industrial zoned area and forgotten about by city services with abandoned houses. Maybe waste management comes once a week? If you called 911 the cops might show up. None of your neighbors give a damn about their lawn, if they’re around.

All of that for an analogy but as an office. My new office. My, maybe 10×10 area, which is less than your average office size (go ahead, google it, I did) sits at the end of a hallway next to open restrooms and the stairwell that people choose to smoke in.

I’m also on the second floor by the stairwell, so when other people in this building are feeling extra ‘healthy’ and decide to take the stairs I hear them go up and down. Also, if you want to have a semi-private conversation, this area for some unknown reason has the best reception in all of the stairwel1!

In terms of space, I would take a cubicle in the middle of cubicles where there is not a single private moment…sort of like a prison. I could get used to being listened to. I could yell out ‘circle takes the square’ on occasion to see if anyone gets that reference. If I threw a piece of paper randomly in the air, it’d surely land on someone’s desk, obviously the paper would read, “HELP US! WE’VE BEEN KIDNAPPED” It would garner a slight chuckle and I’d be able to tell where it landed.

As I moved in today, the security officer came by with the ‘exit strategy.’ He had a printed copy of a copy of a copy of the building layout for this floor and marked my office with an ‘x’ and an arrow drawing toward it stating “you are here”

Yes. I am here.


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